


Don't Try This at Home

by holdouttrout



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-10
Updated: 2008-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:24:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdouttrout/pseuds/holdouttrout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is definitely written for <b>abyssinia4077</b>, who has been asking for trampoline porn for FOREVER. And if anyone wants to use this fic as a *ahem* <i>jumping off point</i>, please feel free. After all, there's a criminal lack of actual...porn in this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Try This at Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Abyssinia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abyssinia/gifts).



Predictably, it was Teal'c and Vala who started things off. Before the servants who had shown them to their room had even closed the door completely, they were tugging off their shoes and socks and lunging for the bed.

If it could be called that.

"Carter," said Jack slowly as he watched Vala and Teal'c try to out-bounce each other, "is that a trampoline?"

Sam nodded. It wasn't just a trampoline. It was a huge trampoline.

"Yes, sir," she said belatedly.

"And it's also our bed."

Sam spied a pile of blankets in the corner. "I would guess so, sir." She looked over at Cam, who was struggling to contain a grin. On the trampoline, Teal'c and Vala smacked into each other.

Daniel said, "They're doing it wrong."

Cam said, "Oh, yeah."

They exchanged a look, and then they started racing to untie their boots. Cam was ginning like a maniac, and Daniel's expression wasn't much more subdued. Sam rolled her eyes at their enthusiasm. Cam pulled off his boots and lifted himself up onto the trampoline, rolling across the mat in a summersault and coming to his feet just in time to be launched spectacularly by Teal'c.

Sam grinned involuntarily. Jack gave her a look. "Carter, I know you want to try it."

Sam shrugged innocently. "No, sir. I'm fine down here. But if you want to go ahead..."

"Oh, no. Generals are too dignified for that sort of thing."

Sam snorted.

Vala bounced close to the edge. "Come on! You're not seriously going to miss this, are you?"

Sam and Jack exchanged another look. Sam shrugged. Jack smirked.

"Last one up is a rotten egg!" Vala called, getting dragged away by Teal'c.

"A rotten egg?" Jack asked.

"I'm just surprised she got it right," Sam said. She bent over and started untying her laces.

"What happened to being happy watching?"

Sam shrugged and toed off her shoes. "I don't want to be the rotten egg, sir."

Jack blinked. Sam pulled off her other shoe and lifted her self up onto the trampoline. She timed her first jump perfectly to unbalance Daniel.

Finally, Jack said, "Hey!" and started moving.

No one was sure if their hosts intended for their bed to be used this way, but no one came to complain, so SG-1 spent the next hour or so acting very immature--an outsider might have thought they were trying to kill each other, but miraculously, everyone seemed to catch their balance right in time, or lend a hand at just the right moment. It didn't hurt that the trampoline was huge.

They all settled down eventually--everyone was too tired to stay away too much longer--, with Cam tossing them all blankets and pillows from the edge. They stuck the pillows underneath their heads and kept the blankets for when they got too cold, drifting off to sleep one by one.

In retrospect, no one was sure exactly what had happened, although they all agreed that Vala had started it. All any of them could say for sure was that they weren't ever going to say anything to anyone else, and that it was never going to happen again.

Sam was fairly sure she hadn't been the first awake the next morning, and she could have sworn that Jack had woken up when Vala had kissed her. Or maybe it was Teal'c who kissed her, first, politely asking her to join in as Vala coaxed Jack away.

For his part, Cam had no earthly idea what in the world had led to any of it, remembering only the feel of fingers on his flesh, on his cock, the sight of Teal'c with Vala on top of him, of Carter's back beneath him, her hands on Jack's chest as she sucked him off.

Daniel and Jack didn't say anything as they carefully avoided looking at each other during the day, and while Vala rolled her eyes, Teal'c's dark looks convinced her to keep quiet as they negotiated a treaty.

They faced the bed the next night with more than a few blushes, and a lot less jumping. They left space between each other tonight, closed their eyes.

"This is ridiculous," Vala said.

Everyone tried to ignore her.

"Oh, come on. It's not that big of a deal," she insisted.

Cam groaned. Sam squeezed her eyelids shut to keep from looking at anyone.

Daniel said, "I think she's right."

Now it was Jack's turn to groan.

"No, really," Daniel said. "We're all adults. And it's only natural that our shared experiences would create a...unique bond."

"I also do not understand what the problem might be with our behavior this morning."

"I am not having this conversation," Jack said firmly.

"Maybe we should," Sam said, sounding as if the words were being forced out of her.

"Et tu, Carter?" Jack grumbled.

Sam frowned, propped herself up to glare at him. "I didn't see you complaining when I--"

"Sam!"

Daniel snorted, and Vala said, "It's not like we didn't see her do it, anyway."

"Oh, god," Cam moaned.

Vala laughed, "Bet you'll never forget that image--"

"Vala," Daniel warned.

"--I know I never will," she finished gleefully.

There was some cringing at that statement, some more blushing, and some very covert squirming.

They all lay there, in the dim room, staring at the ceiling. There was silence for two or three minutes.

"We can't just ignore what happened," Sam said abruptly.

"Nothing happened. It was some weird alien dream," Jack offered.

"That's it," Cam said abruptly. "We can never talk about this ever again."

"No kidding," Daniel said.

"I do not believe that that is an acceptable course of action," Teal'c said.

"Yeah. For one thing," Vala said, "I want to do it again."

Daniel yelped. "Vala!"

She sat up, causing the whole trampoline to bounce a bit. "Oh, come on. You can't tell me that it wasn't amazing. And I didn't get a chance with Cam."

It seemed Cam had finally run out of appropriate reactions, because he sat up, too, and gaped at Vala.

"You cannot be serious," Daniel said, and Sam and Jack's expressions mirrored the sentiment.

"What? It was fun!"

"Indeed."

Now they all gaped at Teal'c, except Cam, who threw up his hands and said, "Fine. I give up. It was fun."

Vala, Teal'c, and Cam all turned toward Sam, who tried to manage outrage but instead just ended up sighing in defeat. They looked between Daniel and Jack, who looked at each other for a few, long, embarrassed seconds, and then Jack tilted his head, Daniel shook his, and then grinned.

A slow, wicked smile lit up Vala's face.


End file.
